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Planning the Perfect Wedding

The perfect wedding begins with planning. To help you prepare for one of your memorable days in of your life, we have gathered some of the most commonly asked questions of Brides-to-Be, along with answers from leading experts in the Bridal Etiquette.

The Wedding Announcement and Invitation

Question

Answer

What are "save the date" cards used for? The save the date cards are usually sent to out of town guests or for anyone which typically includes information about the wedding and any special accomodations.
   
When are "save the date" cards usually sent? The "save the date cards" are usually mailed out four to six months before the wedding date.
   
Are wedding announcements ever sent to anyone who has been invited to the ceremony or reception? Wedding announcements are only sent to those people who were not invited to the ceremony or reception.
   
When are wedding announcements mailed? The wedding announcements should be mailed a day or two after the wedding.
   
When should wedding invitations be ordered? Wedding invitations should be ordered when the details of the ceremony and reception have been confirmed, such as the date time and place of your service and reception, as well as an accurate guest list count are needed prior to placing your invitation order.  You  should order invitations at least three months before the wedding.
   
When should wedding invitations be mailed? Wedding invitations should be mailed approximately four to eight weeks prior to the ceremony.
   
Should special arrangements be made for out of town guests? Using the "save the date" cards are good sense for out of town guests.
   
What are traditional wedding invitations? Traditional wedding invitations are white, ivory or ecru color with a panel or without a panel.  Traditional wedding invitations are engraved or thermography imprint.  
   
What is thermography imprint? Thermography is raised printed invitations, which are less expense and imitate the look of engraving.
   
What are contemporary wedding invitations? Contemporary wedding invitations are those that offer a variety of different themes, designs, folds and trends with beautiful colors.
   
May guests be invited to a reception and not the wedding ceremony? Yes, if the wedding service is attended only by relatives and close friends.
   
Should wedding invitation envelopes be addressed formally? Yes, abbreviations should be used except for Mr., Mrs., Jr., or Dr.
   
Is it correct to use the "and family" when addressing the invitation envelopes? No, separate invitations should be sent to each adult family member living in the same household.  For younger children, address the outer envelope to the parents and write the first names on the inner envelope under the parent's names.
   
Why is there tissue include with my wedding invitation order? In earlier times, tissues were used to guard against ink smears. Today's printing methods ensure ink  is dry before the invitations leave the printing warehouse. Many continue to use the tissue as part of the the wedding invitation ensemble for aesthetic reason and for the sake of the tradition.
   
How should the wedding invitations be inserted in the envelopes? The wedding invitation is folded and put in the inner envelope with the folded edge down and the front of the invitation facing the back of the envelope.  The envelope is placed in the envelope with the front of the inner envelope facing the back of the outer envelope.

The Wedding Thank You Note

Question

Answer

Are thank you notes necessary if someone has been thanked in person? It is considered socially proper to always send a written thank you note even if you have thanked someone in person.
   
When should thank you notes be mailed? The written thank you notes should be sent as soon as possible after receiving the gift, normally within two to three weeks.
   
How do you thank someone tactfully for a monetary gift? When writing thank you notes for monetary gifts, it is not necessary or advisable to mention the amount. Refer to the monetary gift as " your generous gift," or something similar; mention how you plan to use the money, whether to purchase an appliance or use the money in some other way. 

The Wedding Ceremony

Question

Answer

How many bridesmaids and ushers are needed?

The size of the wedding determines the number, normally there should be one usher for every 50 guests. An average wedding party for a formal or semi formal is four to size bridesmaids and ushers.  A bride does not need as many bridesmaids as ushers.

 

 

In a formal wedding, which side is usually reserved for the bride’s family and friends?

The bride’s parents are seated on the left side of the aisle and the groom’s parents sit on the right side.

 

 

Does the groom always kiss the bride at the altar?

The person performing the ceremony will rule according to the church practice.

 

 

Who gives the officiant his or her fee?

The groom pays, but the best man gives it to the officiant in a plain white envelope before or after ceremony.

 

 

Where does the wedding party stand in the receiving line?

The receiving line is in the back of the church after the ceremony. Usually the bride's mother and father are first, followed by the bride, groom and bridesmaids. The groom's mother and father may be included. The ushers and best man do not stand in the receiving line.

 

 

Does the groom always kiss the bride at the altar?

The officiant will rule on this, according to church practice.

The Wedding Reception

Question

Answer

Where does the bride sit at the bride and groom table? The bride is always seated at the groom's right.
If you have divorced parents, who attends the reception? Both may attend if agreeable by all, or a separate reception may be given.
Who reads congratulatory message aloud? The best man reads any congatulatory message that are received.
Who proposes the "first" toast? The best man proposes the "first" toast to the bride and groom.
Who cuts the first piece of cake? The bride, with the groom's right hand over the bride's hand, cuts the first piece of cake.  The couple breaks the slice and eat it together.  A friend or waiter then finishes serving the cake to the guests.
What happens if other couples starts dancing before the bride and groom? When the bride and groom appear, everyone should stop dancing.  The bride and groom then waltz once around the floor solo.
Is the groom obligated to dance with someone else besides the bride? The groom is obligate to dance with his mother, mother in law and the maid of honor.

 
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